Friday, December 30, 2011

Accidental Election Year Spy, 2008

Although this is not really me, I would wear those socks.

I am in possession of some highly coveted and very secret information.  I have the vague impression that there are documents of some kind I've been charged with protecting.  I'm acting like a spy, doing spy-type activities, but it's not, technically, my job.  I can tell because I'M TERRIFIED of the people chasing me and I have no idea why they want this info or what it is.

As I'm running around the city trying to evade these menacing strangers, I notice that it's election season.  It appears that a  friend of mine is running for office.  Amid the forests of campaign signs there are dozens of hers with the slogan, "If you like Chellie Pingree, you'll love [her name]"  I'm a bit surprised because I thought she was kind of skeptical of politicians.

I wander into a theater that's actually kind of a ruin, like a mix between the Coliseum and (for you Portland, Mainers) Fort Gorges.  There's a huge fundraiser going on for my friend's campaign.  She's up in a balcony that is oddly accessible for climbing.  She shouts down to me, "Are you coming up or not?"

I start to climb, but it's actually really difficult even though it's low to the ground.  The rail appears to be made of  one of those really thick tumbling mats they put after the horse in gymnastics vaulting set ups.

I'm finally able to do it, but it's incredibly awkward and un-graceful.  I'm feeling like a real jackass and suddenly realize that the climbing shenanigans made me very susceptible to the bad guys, who could easily have caught me while I was climbing.  I look around a little panicked until I see them going out a downstairs door.  They can't see me where I am.

My friend is unaware of all the drama.  "I knew you'd be able to climb up," she says. "My band's going to play as part of the fundraiser soon. You should stick around."

I wake up.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Shark Attack, Casco Bay

If for some reason an awesome animated gif isn't happening here, click on the image and it ought to play.

Another recurring dream I used to have when I was little:  There's a giant shark in Casco Bay and my extended family is all on Peaks Island, but we want to go back to Portland.  When we go down to the ferry landing, we see the Island Romance coming across the harbor, but then the giant shark comes up and chomps it.

There's a big state of emergency and the ferries get shut down.

One lady apparently doesn't watch the news, because she walks down the passenger dock with her baby carriage.  You guessed it, the shark come up and chomps the end of the wharf off, lady with a baby carriage and all.

At this point there's widespread panic on the island and the mainland.  For some reason we can't communicate with the mainland, but there's always a radio playing somewhere that's broadcasting the latest news about the shark.

After a few days, my Uncle Dick, my mom's brother goes marching down to the dock.  He lies down on his stomach  and dangles his arm off the end.  About one second later the shark comes up and chomps onto his arm.

Because this is a dream and things like the changing scale of the shark and the relative frailty of the human body are details that can be cast aside for the sake of moving the narrative along, my uncle stands up with the shark clamped onto his wrist like it's a fish hook.  He holds the shark aloft a la those dorky fishing trip photos that always look like they were taking in 1978 on the float at the lake.  A newspaper photographer is conveniently there and takes his picture.  I always woke up just after I see the front page of the paper with his photo and headline, which I would see spinning to a dramatic presentation like in an old movie.

Wonderwoman, recurring dream circa 1985-ish

When I was six and/or seven, I had this recurring dream about once a month.  No, literally, this dream.  Like, exactly what you see above.  I had Wonder Woman Underoos and everything, but this was slightly terrifying.